Im the funniest person I know,

Really, I am. Maybe in my own mind, but I wish I had a recorder with me or at least a camera following me around to see the things I see that are SO easy. Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart - which is just funny in itself - Wal-Mart is already easy material. Just the fact that you have to care what you look like to go there to avoid making it into one of those emails with the 'best-of' pictures. But I must say I could have made at least 4 entries into the best-of in merely 10 minutes there! It was like I was being punked! OK, Ashton - you can come out now.........Ashton? Ashton? Where Aaaaarreee yooooooohoooooo?

So first there was the bag-lady whose makeup was done by a blind Elizabeth Taylor and I mean I had a physical reaction. I had to pretend that I was already stretching my neck out in pain prior to catching her eye. But when I did, of course I had to look away immediately but knew she saw my reaction - so in fear of the probable pre-historic poison dart blower in her Poppins bag I held the buggie tightly and continued to stretch out like a seal on a rock in SF bay!

Next was the lady who was completely normal looking from head to toe except her dress was WAY too short. And its January so its not leg-bearing tan season around here so not too much to show off in the way of the legs. I only really noticed b/c I bent over to tie my shoe and when I looked up WHOA - cant look away or keep looking but cant fall over and look away so fast I am a spectacle. But at least she had panties on! Boy, that was uncomfortable, felt like a perv and all I was doing was tying my shoe. I think I would have rathered tripped over my laces into the lap of lady #1.

And now that it took me 2 days to write this I cant remember the other 'interesting' person from Wal-Mart. Oh, maybe it was the checker who asked me how I was doing at least 6 times. Alzheimer's maybe? So, to validate I gave a different answer from #3-6. Was kind of fun. Either Yes to the Alzheimers or he wasnt actually listening and had his ipod in!

Oh, so back to the point. In my head I have so MANY one-liners going on that sometimes make me actually chuckle out load to nobody at all and if there were a camera to see what I am seeing and then to turn to me and read my mind or HEAR what I am thinking - my opinion that I am the funniest person I know could be validated.

Long Time no blog

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of you nay-sayers were right. I dont actually have time to blog. And the time I do have to blog will have to go towards writing a book so you will just have to wait for the book. :)

Just kidding - isnt a blog how you get someone to invite you to write a book? Chicken or Egg?

Wow - October. Really? I wont try to catch up, will just start fresh. When I think of what is fresh other than the odor in my fridge, I will let you know. If you have a topic, you can let me know.

Later