Catholic Communion

So a few weeks ago my grandfather died. He was 89 and lived a long wonderful satisfying life so it was more of a celebration! The service was a traditional Catholic Mass service. I have not gone to a Catholic mass in a very long time. During and after the service I remembered why. At what age are you exempt from all of that kneeling, standing, sitting business? Im not that old but that is hard on the worn knees! And then there is the communion.....our church does communion but a little different - will get into this in a minute.

So as you know communion is sharing the body of Christ with 300 of your closest friends on a weekly basis. How big was this man anyhow and how on earth did he turn into a case of wafers? Just kidding people. So, I wait in the line, get my wafer and onto the next line for the 'wine'. Well, Im not sure where they got this moonshine but I could smell it from 4 feet away. So in the Catholic Church it is a communal glass that everyone drinks from. Now, not having done this in a while I figured surely with the Mad Cow, Meningitis, and herpes they would have moved away from this communal glass but no - sharing the love. I walk up and he has wiped the rim that the last cold sore, strep throat, swine flu person just drank from - with a nice decorative holy handkerchief. I feel much better about slugging down the spit now. I am hoping not to get struck down during my grandfathers funeral service but risked it anyhow and looked at the priest and said (as best I could with the wafer stuck to the roof of my mouth) "do I have to drink it?" He said "not if you dont want to". OH THANK GOD I screamed (in my head).

So I go back to my bench, kneel and pray still with the in-tact wafer stuck to the roof of my mouth. Luckily it was stuck in there pretty good or I would have spit it out when one of the elderly men YELLED AMEN when he got his. WHOA - we can hear you for crying out loud!

Once everyone had participated the priests went back to the alter and one of them just downed the rest of the whiskey like he was at a fraternity party - I was worried he was about to do an alter stand!! So glad he didnt b/c I fear for what was under the robe (or what wasnt). It was a pretty hefty serving of the moonshine and I am worried to be on the road with him driving but it might be rude for me to try to take his keys!

Our church has edible wheat thin like cracker that you almost want a whole handful of and some dip. And you get your own tiny little shot of grape juice as your wine.

It has been 3 weeks and I think I still have some of that wafer stuck in my teeth.