The Itchy and Scratchy show

Lice, thats right, I said it. Lice. Just makes you itch all over thinking about the little buggers. Crawling, breeding, laying their nasty white sticky eggs that HATCH in your HAIR. eeeeeeeeeck.

I am lucky that this is our first go at it having 3 kids in pre-school and daycare and now grade school, so I am not completely complaining! Today started out pretty bad with horns having a colossal breakdown of epic proportions! The girl is only 6 and she has already started screaming I HATE YOU! YOU ARE A MEANIE! So, this is just swell. Morning starts out like this so I am online searching for boarding schools that start at 1st grade b/c if this continues someone has got to go. But I guess if it means me, I could get some cool uptown apartment and be a city dweller part-time and drive a SmartCar or Vespa or something chic like that. And then we can switch off - say every other week or every 2 weeks? Not sure, but it sounds like a fun possibility!

So, that was the morning that set me off on the wrong feet, legs and torso. So she is LUCKY to have come home with lice otherwise her next 3 days were going to be spent as Cinderella around here and she was going to find a newly decorated bedroom of....nothing.

Anyhow, we get some RID and start the 3 step process. Step 1 - put this shampoo on dry hair from the ends up, every last strand of it, then wet it slightly, lather and rinse. Step 2 - tie up hair in sections like at the hair salon (having just been there I now know how this works) coat the hair in 1 inch sections, from the root out, with this gel and use the cool little lice comb/shovel thing to run in through the gel and 'capture' the nits. Now, lets talk about the word nits - this also makes you just itch all over. My nose hairs even itch now! Every little wisp of hair that touches my face or neck is a nit I swear! Even the hairs on my arms itch. Ok, back on task. Comb through and capture nits and wipe them on a tissue and throw out tissues. I luckily only found TWO but still had to do all of the hair. This little step took over an hour for my child that barely has enough hair to fill a barrette! I pray for parents with kids that have a real head of hair or worse the ones I know whose kids already have body hair!!! ;) I can just see combing through my kids back hair for lice! PAR-TAY! OK, after the gel you rinse and wash again and rinse and you are off and have to repeat in 7 days.

Step 3 is almost the worst part - the house. Now everything I look at looks like it could host a million NITS or flying lice! And then you have the people who go off and tell you that lice can live on your furniture for up to 2 weeks. SHUT UP people. Actually not true but once someone says it you have to take it into account at least a little bit, OR think about it every other second. So, I am on my 8th load of laundry with about 12 more in the queue. Those are quarantined in the garage as to not mix with the sanitized items. All of the rugs and pillows are in bags in the garage. I am scared to even do my own room. I never really did love this house, so maybe now is a good time to sell it fully furnished, clothed, and laundry-a-go-go.

While all of that is brewing I set out for more treatment to be pro-active on the other girls when they get home. Trip to People's Pharmacy and the kids cuts place we are about $120 in on hair lice treatment and preventative shampoo, spray, etc.

OH, I forgot to mention that the very first place the dirty girl went when she got home was into our bed!!! WTF? This never, I mean - NEVER happens. They try to get on my bed after bath but rarely make it past...'Don't you....' So, why on earth would she decide to run straight into our room and jump on the bed?

Because she really does in fact hate me. And will figure out for the rest of her life how to make sure there is no doubt in my mind that she is serious about this! Because once she sets her mind to something she has to win no matter what - like the lice....now she isnt punished for 3 days like I said she would be! Clever little bugger!